What's in a Name? Coming Up With Non-traditional Names as LGBTQIA+ Parents

Not all parents fall under the names of mom or dad. The role of a parent is universal, but the titles are not. And for LGBTQIA+ parents, appropriate names and identities matter a lot.

No one but you can tell you how you should be called once you're a parent. The good news is that the options are endless! So many variations on mother/mom/mama and father/dad/papa, as well as completely unique-to-you monikers can be claimed. And if one name fits for now and you change your mind later, no worries! There are no rules when it comes to your parental title. One parent ended up changing their originally chosen name to the child-created name of "Bapa." This article on Mombian has an extensive and helpful ongoing list of the many variations of parental titles, along with explanations behind the inspiration. 

The frustrating struggle that parents face when choosing not to be referred to as mom or dad, is in communication with others -- friends, family, colleagues, daycare/school employees, etc. Names outside of traditional heteronormative titles can be met with confusion and even rejection. You will likely need to repeat your title and repeatedly ask that you be referred to by your specific title. That request can feel uncomfortable for people who have a hard time speaking up, but you and your child are worth the effort. Seek support in your network of people who best build you up, and in LGBTQIA+ parents who have walked this path before.

When a baby comes into your life, there is the birth of the child as well as the birth of the parents. Choosing how you're called as a parent, especially if what has been traditionally used does not feel right, is your right and honor as a parent. You wouldn't want someone else naming your baby (in most cases), so why should anyone else get to choose your name as a parent? Take joy and pride in both naming processes.