Giving Birth with Confidence

Great Expectations: Liz at 30 Weeks

Great Expectations: Liz at 30 Weeks

Cara Terreri, LCCE, CD(DONA)

"Wow, you've got your hands full, don't you?!" If I never hear those words again, I will truly be a happy woman. I'm not exactly sure what compels strangers to make such an observation and then verbalize it, but over the course of three days, I heard this comment or others quite similar to it at least two dozen times. From the mall, to a restaurant, to a wedding, and then a hotel, plenty of people seemed to have a lot to say about this pregnant mama and her three children.With hormones a-raging, I did my best to bite my tongue and ignore the comments, but it was hard. While I know that some might argue that this is simply a way of expressing condolences or empathy, I personally don't want it. From the time that I was a young girl, growing up as the youngest of four, I admired the hard work that my mother did caring for myself and my siblings, and I knew that I would have four children of my own someday. I looked forward to homemade birthday cakes, slightly chaotic trips to the grocery store, dried playdough underfoot, and "The Sock Game" (a clever way to get kids to help with folding laundry). I never imagined that being a mother would be some sort of grueling ordeal, worthy of pity. While being a mom definitely has its challenges, the joys immensely outnumber them. I also feel, that for the most part, I'm doing a pretty darn good job with my kids, who are generally happy, healthy, well-behaved, and polite both in and outside the home. The "hands full" remarks make me feel as though that's not the case, and trust me, the last thing a mama needs is self-doubt.So, next time you see a mama, regardless of how many children she's toting around, how pregnant she is, or what sort of tantrum her two-year-old is throwing, smile at her and say, "Seeing you really gives me a new-found respect for my mother!" (Something actually said to me by a young man at the mall, and the only reason I didn't punch all those other strangers in the face.)