Great Expectations: Heather @ 34 Weeks

I was looking back this morning on my life before the world of doulas. I was introduced to it as a newlywed, and the way it shaped my outlook on women, family life, and humanity was oh, so valuable. It's hard for me sometimes to explain this to others. If someone had explained it to me before I'd been a part of it, I doubt I would have given it much thought. Pay a stranger to rub my back, be obnoxiously positive, and watch me deliver? I could see how a lot of people would find thatvaluable, but, eh, I could probably do without. I'm a very closed, private person in some ways. Still, once you know what their work is about, how hard they train, and how much they care not to mention the statistical improvement in positive birth outcomes you'll wonder why doulas don't come standard. They really make that much of a difference.

Recently, ours came over for our first prenatal visit. As for how we chose her, I was lucky enough to meet BenNi at a Utah Doula Association conference I attended; she was from my hometown area, and I was trying to make doula friends. So I got her number and asked to get together sometime. She was very kind, and we got along very well, so well that about the week I tested positive I gave her a call. I'll add with only a little shame that I'm not a big fan of interviews, hence the need to switch care providers recently. But in this case, my first choice has been perfect. For example, BenNi shares my anti-soy sentiments, and I knew her for a Bronte fan when she told me her son's name was St. John.

I was glad she and Preston finally had a chance to meet, so I could get a sense of how we all would do together. It was an easy, comfortable atmosphere. I'm excited for the team we'll make. Between her training, tools, and experience, my comfort with Preston and his absolute lack of fear to speak up and ask questions, and my trying to relax and enjoy the day as much as I can, we'll do very well. Also, the more I hear of her experiences with my doctor, the better I feel about that choice, too.

First off, after introductions, we had paperwork and questions, as BenNi tried to get a sense of our hopes, expectations, and preferences for the birth. Had we taken a childbirth class or did we know what to expect? What are Preston's expectations for her? Am I comfortable with touch? Was there anything I felt anxious about?

Then we got to see the contents of the magical Doula duffel: cold/hot packs, a pool-noodle back massager, essential oils, breath fresheners, etc. We received lots of added perspective on what we might expect in working with her, in the process of labor, in our time at the hospital. We got helpful suggestions on ways to prepare now for a healthier, easier birth. And there's much more to come. In two more visits we hope to actually practice the possible methods and routines of relaxing and finding comfort to find what works for me and how we can make it work together, to make more solid plans and be sure we are on the same page.

I can't believe we're seriously talking about the end now, and that we're so close, just a month from now, maybe two. I'm getting a better sense of my daughter's personality, the things that seem to excite or irritate her, how she wakes up when her Dad is around and calms down when he hums to her. My clothes are getting tight and my comfort and patience less and less, but really, I am content. I have so many good people around me, good information, and good hopes. I'm going to look back on this as an enjoyable time, albeit one I complained my way through. Still, I shouldn't think about it TOO much. I'd better say two months, just to play it safe.