Great Expectations: Cara @ 28 weeks

By Cara Joyner

'I was sure you were having a girl this time because you're WIDER with this one.'

'It's another boy? Oh. Cara. I was really hoping it was a girl.'

'A big family? But [Cara's husband] works for a church. They don't make a lot of money.'

'I heard it's another boy. Were you really disappointed?'

'Another baby? You guys know how this happens, right?'

In this last two weeks, each of these things has been said to me. I guess having three kids close together is a bit unusual for my generation; and it would seem that many assume the only reason we'd have more than two babies is for the chance that we might have a girl.

The more my belly grows and people begin to feel greater comfort in commentating on our newest addition, the more I find myself defending our decision to expand our family. The quick response, 'Yeah, we always wanted a big family and figured we'd keep going while they're young!' seems to roll off my lips preemptively.

Maybe it's because we're moving and my nerves are raw. Maybe I'm just extra tired from ending the second trimester and chasing around two active little boys; but each time someone's face betrays them and reveals their surprise, or even disapproval, of our choice to have another baby, I want to cry. Every time a friend or stranger shows disappointment that this baby is another beautiful boy, I want to explain that their reaction is offensive. This is my baby. My body is working around the clock to protect and nourish him as he grows. He is not 'another boy' or a carbon copy of his brothers. He is perfect and unique and wanted. When they are disappointed that he isn't a girl, it hurts me as his mother.

Those emotions aside, everything is going well. As I type this, I am eating my 'second dinner' before bed (also known as a cereal and OJ). This transition into the last trimester has been ushered in with an increase in appetite. It's hard to believe we've reached the final stretch!

Recently, I've found great encouragement in the thought that there's no better place for him to be than tucked inside of me. Everything he needs is right there while he grows chubbier and longer over the next three months. At a time when I feel stretched thin and drained, what a great gift it is to know that my body is doing everything it should do, providing the best possible home for our son.

I'll leave you with a quote I read a couple weeks ago. It's one I continue to reflect on as we near the end of this pregnancy..."Being pregnant and giving birth are like crossing a narrow bridge. People can accompany you to the bridge. They can greet you on the other side. But you walk that bridge alone." (African Proverb)

Cara Joyner is a mother of two who writes regularly at carajoyner.com and in various publications. She is also a Professional Birth Doula and Childbirth Educator (trained by Lamaze International).

photo credit: Wajahat Mahmood via photopin cc