Great Expectations: Cara @ 20 weeks

By Cara Joyner

Well, it may be time to start a savings account for the specific purpose of groceries in 15 years, when we are living in a house with three teenage BOYS! Let's just say the sonogram picture was more than clear and his brothers are ready to pull him into their wild world of tough love and destruction.

Even if we had still wanted to keep it a secret, there's no way we would have made it out of the room without knowing. When the ultrasound tech wasn't even trying to get a view from below, something distinctive was protruding from that little round body. No time for secrets (or modesty). It was all out there and we couldn't be more thrilled.

Last Friday was the due date of the girl we lost in March. I expected it to be heavy, but found it be a bittersweet relief...as if that milestone gave me permission to move on and pour myself more fully into this pregnancy. We said goodbye to her again and moved into a new phase of excitement for this one (if you want to read more about that process for us, you can find it here).

Three boys. Three! When I start to imagine a house packed with three hungry, rowdy teenage boys towering over their short little mama, it makes me proud. And it makes me cry. It reminds how long I'm going to keep this new one sleeping on my chest - skin to skin. It won't take long before he's too big, too awake, and too wiggly to rest there, so I'm going to savor every minute. I can almost smell that sweet baby hair just thinking about it. Welcome to the clan my sweet son! I am delightfully outnumbered!

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Cara Joyner is a mother of two who writes regularly at carajoyner.com and in various publications. She is also a Professional Birth Doula and Childbirth Educator (trained by Lamaze International).