(Original Reply from "Pregnancy conditions and complications" on 03/31/2007 4:44 PM) 

Let me start by saying that my heart goes out to you. As the mother of a married daughter who plans to have children, I am shaking in my boots at what the system, as your daughter’s experiences make clear, can do to her by playing on her and her husband’s fears. Since I am not a midwife, doctor, or nurse, I am not qualified to give an opinion about your daughter’s care, but I will go so far as to say that your daughter’s stories sound all too familiar these days, not in the details, of course, but the patterns.

I hear your anguish and frustration and sense of helplessness. I am wondering what you can do to take care of yourself. I invite you to think about ways that you can discharge your feelings and heal from this experience. Obviously, you have already taken one step, which is to seek validation and a safe place to vent by posting here, but there may be other steps you can take. One thought:  you might want to see if there is a chapter of the International Cesarean Awareness Network (ICAN) in your area. Go to http://www.ican-online.org/community/chapters.php to look. I think you will find support and comfort there, and your knowledge as a nurse and your own experiences with birth would be valuable to them as well.

A local ICAN chapter may also be of use to your daughter. Since she is, at least for the moment, ok with what happened to her, you wouldn’t want too militant a group, but if you find them to be accepting and supportive of women wherever they are with their cesarean experiences, they may provide a haven for your daughter to heal as well. She may be accepting of her experiences, but she may not stay that way, and surely she has internalized the messages that her body doesn’t work right. She must be disappointed and saddened at the loss of birth she hoped for as well. Getting help with those issues will be to her benefit even if she never comes to view her deliveries as you do.

-- Henci
 

(original post from "Pregnancy conditions and complications" from 3/26/07)

henci.. below is an account of what i think happened with my daughter.. I am convinced that she expereinced prodromal labor which was either ignored or not recognized. any help is appreictaed

 .. I was not there but I think this is an accurate account of what occurred., Lanie( daughter) is "at peace" with it since she thinks it was necessary which is even more disturbing.. Of course, if you have been contracting since the night of the 12th from 1100 PM until the next day( the 13th) @ 6 PM without any cervical changes and no one has the ability to make any suggestions or fails to recognize what is happening, it is no wonder that she made the decision she did. I am so deeply saddened and don't know what to think.. here is the story.. first baby 4 years ago.. frank breech , low fluid nuccal cord.. I thought it was all bogus but the "dead baby card" was played and Lanie( daughter) was scared into an "elective C. Section" @35 weeks.. baby on a vent with all the other stuff.. I am an RN who also had the usual CPD..FTP and went on to have two VBACs .The delivery left her with a spinal headache and the baby in the NICU for three weeks..In June 2006 she is pregnant again ( after two incomp ABS) ands .starts on the progesterone.. sees her MW and has shadow care with her OB.. all is great.. vertex @ 30 weeks, no BP issues, no GD.. near perfect.. The plan is a VBAC.. the MW is great .. great VBAC rate etc.. at 38 weeks the docs at Simi Valley Hospital file a charge( again bogus I think) that Marcia's MW records are incomplete when she transfers and the board will not let her practice until the hearing at the end of March.. Lanie(daughter) can find no MW to take her @38 weeks so she is stuck with Los Robles. ROM last Tuesday.. fluid clear.. contrax start and are every 3 minutes within 5 hrs.. calls the doula ( $1200) and off to the hospital @ 4 AM.. on the Birthing ball and up and walking. She asks that no exam be done until the OB arrives. first exam is done about 5 hrs after admission which shows no change from the previous day in the office.. 1 cm 70% and posterior OS. next exam 4 hrs later same thing. She had one decel which prompted an amnioinfusion and terbualine but good recovery .I am convinced that this was not active labor but prodromal.or latent..I saw her picture on the birthing ball and hers was not the face of an active woman. never offered any meds to rest. no nipple stim.. I worked OB so I have experience..Was told ,I think, that her contrax were "strong enough" and not likely any change would occur.. so off to the OR.., How can a doula be paid $1200 and offer nothing ?The conditions were near perfect.. vertex, loa and a small baby 6#14..  I prepared her for what I thought all the issues would be..Post dates/ PROM/ etc.. prodromal/ latent labor never crossed my mind..  Does this sound like latent/prodromal that was poorly managed or am I just a worried mom?

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You wrote a longer post about your daughter's delivery under the topic of "Pregnancy conditions and complications" under the thread "Induction when SROM > 12 hrs . . ." and I responded to it there. At the time, I wanted to move your post and my response to this thread, which is a better place for it, but among the many other frustrations and glitches with the new software, I didn't see how to do that. Apologies, but for now, go on over to the other topic. I'll see if the IT person can help me out, so if by chance it isn't there, it will be he explained how to move it here where it belongs.

-- Henci