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| Posted By |
AUSER on 7/8/2005 12:18:06 AM |
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This may be slightly outside the normal birth topic parameter but maybe not... *m |
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Hi Delilah:
This story is heartbreaking on so many levels. It is often true that by listening and *truly* hearing this lovely woman's distress, you are providing a salve toward healing. Too frequently, we are shamed into believing that we are ungrateful if we admit to "negative" feelings, and that love and sadness are somehow mutually exclusive. She is so blessed to know you!
In my practice, I am often with women who have had dramatic and traumatic experiences. Trauma is possible whenever a person experiences fear, horror, or revulsion. No one else needs to objectively validate that experience: the experience is in the eye of the beholder. Certainly finding onself in the hospital, hanging on moment by moment for your unborn child's life, not knowing all the while if your own healthy is also in jeopardy, can be horrifying to say the least. Understanding the grief involved in this trauma, and working through the adjustment from expectations to current reality is important. A very fine book in this regard is *Shattered Assumptions* by Janoff-Bulman.
When working through the trauma itself, I often use "EMDR" as a tool for healing. A good book on that particular form of help is *Transforming Trauma: EMDR* by Parnell.
Looking at the possibility of a residual experience of either depression, anxiety, or PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), two very good books spring to mind: *The Hidden Feelings of Motherood* by Kendall-Tackett, and *Rebounding from Childbirth* by Madsen. Each has a section on stress and dealing with the unexpected.
An excellent organization supporting women who have experienced birth-related trauma is hosted by the organization called "TABS" (Trauma and Birth Stress) out of New Zealand. Their site can be found at http://www.tabs.org.nz/home.htm. In the US and Canada, an organization called "Postpartum Support International" (PSI) can be found at http://www.postpartum.net. On the PSI site, you can find a list of mental health therapists trained to support women in the perinatal period, as well as list of support groups by region.
Not all therapists are equipped to work with trauma, and that would certainly be a screening question I would ask before making an appointment. My experience is that this type of therapy is relative short term (as little as 2-3 sessions! and commonly around 5-6 if the therapist is well trained and experienced, and the subject of counseling is confined to the perinatal experience). When you do locate the appropriate support, relief is often very rapid in coming.
I wish you and this mom all the very best, and hope for a peaceful resolution to her experience. It sounds like you are a very active resource for your local area. What a gift you must be to the mothers you meet. Now go solicit a hug - you've earned it!
Best regards,
Sharon Storton
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Campbell, California By: Sharon Storton |
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